Not that I am counting...

But Garrin and I are getting married in 52 days.

I actually only know that because a wedding website that I signed up for gives me the ultimate countdown. I talked to Ashley today, she said that anyone who doesn't get nervous is crazy. That made me feel better. But it's funny that I am nearly done planning a wedding with the man that I love, but he has not even asked me to marry him. It is sort of a mutual understanding. I told him the other day that this has all been to easy for him and is giving me an ulcer. We have designed our cake, finalized locations and on Friday we are completing our dinner menu.

I feel grown up.

No.

I feel a little like a princess. Everyone asking me what I want, then making it happen. Thank goodness for our parents that I haven't been dreaming about my wedding my entire life. And that I am a little shy, so hardly anyone is invited.

Nervous

Garrin called me today. When I said hello, he said, "I booked the temple for 1 o'clock Friday, September 21st." I sat there silent.

"We are getting married that day."

It is all of the sudden very real. I am marrying Garrin Tuttle. In 76 days we will be sealed for time and all eternity. That's a long time. Am I ready for that? Is anyone every really ready for marriage? How are other people not scared?

Everything about marriage is scary!

I love Garrin more in a way incomparable to the way I have ever felt about anyone else. And clearly he for me. But that does not make it any easier to go through with. Maybe I am nervous because I am embarking on a new stage of life that I was not sure that I would ever get to. Maybe I am nervous because our marriage will be sealed with not just a contract, but a covenant. The culmination of it all gets me.

I am going dress shopping tomorrow with my mom, sister and best friend. Nervous about that too!