Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Not that I am counting...

But Garrin and I are getting married in 52 days.

I actually only know that because a wedding website that I signed up for gives me the ultimate countdown. I talked to Ashley today, she said that anyone who doesn't get nervous is crazy. That made me feel better. But it's funny that I am nearly done planning a wedding with the man that I love, but he has not even asked me to marry him. It is sort of a mutual understanding. I told him the other day that this has all been to easy for him and is giving me an ulcer. We have designed our cake, finalized locations and on Friday we are completing our dinner menu.

I feel grown up.


I feel a little like a princess. Everyone asking me what I want, then making it happen. Thank goodness for our parents that I haven't been dreaming about my wedding my entire life. And that I am a little shy, so hardly anyone is invited.

Thursday, July 05, 2007


Garrin called me today. When I said hello, he said, "I booked the temple for 1 o'clock Friday, September 21st." I sat there silent.

"We are getting married that day."

It is all of the sudden very real. I am marrying Garrin Tuttle. In 76 days we will be sealed for time and all eternity. That's a long time. Am I ready for that? Is anyone every really ready for marriage? How are other people not scared?

Everything about marriage is scary!

I love Garrin more in a way incomparable to the way I have ever felt about anyone else. And clearly he for me. But that does not make it any easier to go through with. Maybe I am nervous because I am embarking on a new stage of life that I was not sure that I would ever get to. Maybe I am nervous because our marriage will be sealed with not just a contract, but a covenant. The culmination of it all gets me.

I am going dress shopping tomorrow with my mom, sister and best friend. Nervous about that too!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Love and Candy

Wow... Nearly a year since my last post. It is crazy to me how much can change in a year. I love where I am at. Of course, things can always be better, but they can most definitely be far worse. Darrin... Whose real name is Garrin, and I have been dating exclusively for 6 or 7 months. It was about time, after a year or so of us both tip toeing around being together. Going into this relationship, I decided that we needed to figure out if we should be together or be apart. So, I thought that we might date for a few weeks and move on, no longer as friends.

Not the case.

Although Garrin may not admit it, I knew that he was in love with me the day that I woke him from his coma, over a year ago. After all, I was his reason for living!

We went down to visit my parents in California a couple of weeks ago. It was a short vacation for such a long trip, but we had a great time. It was fun to be in the car together; singing, getting lost (when Garrin was driving), and just enjoying each others company. It took about 12 hours each way, and I loved every minute of it. Poor, sweet Garrin had to get to know my parents and have their herbal lifestyle thrust upon him. But, he is such a trooper. He did not act nearly as uncomfortable as I sure he was!

Garrin and I have been tossing around the idea of marriage for a couple of months. Back when we first started dating he explained to me that the perfect woman would propose to him. My reaction was beyond a laugh! I told him that by the time someone wanted to marry him, that he had better step up his game so he wouldn't loose his only chance. Without even cracking a smile, he said that she would propose with a candy bar and that it would be the best day of his life. I told him good luck and to let me know how that goes!

My parents only have one guest bedroom, so naturally, in their un-Mormon home, we slept in the same room (you can chastise me later). While cuddling in bed, our second night in California, Garrin talked about marriage and how he has been more seriously entertaining the thought. With a jolt, I sat up and shouted "that reminds me," and shot out of bed, across the room to my back pack. Rummaging through the side pockets I pulled out a giant bundle wrapped in tin foil.

"What on earth are you doing?" Garrin questioned me.

Tearing the foil away, I jumped back in bed, sat on Garrins legs and dropped a fist full of candy bars on his chest. He laid there, speechless.

"Garrin Tuttle," I began, "I love you so much and there is no one that I would rather spend the rest of my life with."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Will you ask me to marry you, some day?" I finished.

"You are amazing and perfect. I love you!" He whispered while pulling me is for an embrace.

The trip ended wonderfully; Garrin joking about how we should just elope and get it over with. He has long finished his candy bars, but the wrappers are still around. Those are his engagement treat, he tells me. I have spent the week showing him ideas of rings I want. We have told our parents of our plans and hope to be wed by mid-October. I never thought that I could be so in love, or that someone would ever care so much for me. I am extremely blessed to have Garrin as my best friend, my confidant and soon, my husband.